Good job, idiot

Do you ever have those moments where you do something really dumb, and then you’re like, “I am an utter embarrassment to the human race and people should never be allowed to take me seriously?” Well, pull up a seat and lemme tell you about one of those moments.

It’s right now. You’ve forgotten to do something incredibly important, and you’re reading my blog instead, and everything is going to be ruined! What are you doing? Dude! Go do the thing! Go! Ask that one guy what’s going on with the stuff! Don’t forget the paperwork! Haha, just kidding. You’re probably fine. Or are you? You are. Probably. I hope you’re fine. Please tell me if you need help with anything. Don’t forget the paperwork.

Here’s the real story. Today I hosted the first installment of Soul Food, a weekly eat-and-talk-about-life-and-faith-and-God event put on by Student Life, the campus ministry I’m working with. Since Tuesday, we’ve been pushing around this wheelbarrow full of sweets

(it’s been living in my room at night)
These are called Maoam, which is very fun to say

and asking students questions like “If you could ask God one question, what would it be?” and inviting people who seem interested in that kind of thing to Soul Food. So this morning, staff-person Ammie and I went shopping for ingredients for vegetable soup and grilled cheese. This mostly took place at Lidl, an incredible grocery store with very cheap and delicious cookies and a really nice rain jacket, except now I own the rain jacket so it’s not there anymore.

We also went to this place called Dealz without any shopping bags (you have to bring your own bags here) and ran around giddily getting all the things we needed for only €1.49, and then I dropped kitchen utensils all over the floor and was so excited to check out my purchases that I inserted my credit card into the card-reader before the poor cashier boy was ready and had to do it over again. We then ran outside and took this lovely selfie, because we’re Americans and shopping in Ireland is a fun time, darn it.


After starting three separate pots of identical soup a-boiling (we only have small pots and very-small pots in our apartment), I left them in the highly qualified care of staff-person Stephanie and went to Irish class, which was exciting. It’s probably my favorite class because it gives me practical tools for impressing people, like the sentence “Is as Meiriceá mé, ach tá mé i mo chónaí i mBaile Átha Cliath anois,” which means “I am from America but I live in Dublin now.” Then I trotted back on home and had some quality time with James the Anthropomorphic Elephantine Vacuum Cleaner.

He’s a good lad.

And eventually everyone showed up for Soul Food and we ate soup and talked, and it was all good craic until I was making grilled cheese sandwiches in a skillet and I set down the knife I was using to cut them in quarters while I went to get the cutting board/serving platter from the living room. As you do. So I take this knife, and I don’t want to put it directly on the counter, because germs. So I set it with the tip of the blade resting very carefully ON THE FREAKING STOVE BURNER (which, to be fair, I thought was turned off [which, to be fair, does not make it a good place for a knife]) and was like, okay, just remember to only touch the handle because it will probably be hot. And then I started cutting up sandwiches again a minute later and this happened.


Oops. Which goes to show that if I have selective memory – as my mom has always thought – it does not necessarily select to remember things that are in my own best interest.


Sooo… good job, me. Moving on… what else did I do this week? Helped build this robot yesterday with some people from the the Electrical Engineering Society’s Robotics Club:


Made this delicious but admittedly terrible-looking and -sounding dessert called a “slump” (basically a cobbler made on the stove, with dumplings boiled/steamed in the fruit instead of a traditional topping) from some blackberries I picked on campus, with fresh whipped cream courtesy of my flatmate Jen:


Went to the peninsula of Howth with two Cru/Agape women, where we saw things like this:

Some Irish Sea or something
Some lighthouse I guess
Some heather and gorse or whatever
A house where some guy Yeats lived
Some dogs
Some dogs and stuff
Some real tasty fish and chips
Some real tasty fish and chips I guess
Some seagulls we fed fish and chips to in some harbor
Some okay seagulls we fed fish and chips to in some harbor
Some crab fishermen
Some crab fisherman
Some harbor seal (it's the tiny speck in the middle again)
Some mediocre harbor seal (it’s the tiny speck in the middle again)
Some okay harbor I suppose
Some okay harbor I suppose

So not super beautiful and great or anything, but there was some stuff there I guess. Also I got this decent silver necklace


from a guy at a market – he told me after I chose it that the design is from the Book of Kells, the famous illuminated Gospels currently housed at Trinity College that is very cool and important and which I have not seen yet.

Well, that’s it… I hope you feel better about yourself now, dear reader. Whatever dumb thing you did today was probably not as dumb as most of the things I do daily and then sort of forget about. Go raibh míle maith agat (thanks a mil) for being the lovely human you are, and you go. Unless you’re a terrible person, in which case, I forgive you but please stop. Keep up the good work. Keep fighting the good fight. Keep doing your homework (I’m looking at you, Yalies). Also… the knife has burn marks on it now. Good thing it only cost €1.49. Love y’all. Slán leat (byeeeeeeeeeeeeee)








Bonus points if it bothers you that I didn’t put a period at the end of this post

3 thoughts on “Good job, idiot

  1. Your mommie wishes she could kiss your booboo. That was a pretty crazy blog. Learning to speak Irish is messing with your brain, or you’ve been hiding your craziness really well. Love you!!!


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